MORON THIS STORY AS IT DEVELOPS

In what should be news to nobody by now, Jean Chretien's communications advisor, one Francoise Ducros, has resigned for calling George W. Bush a "moron." Or more accurately, for being overheard by some ethics-free reporter while she was in a private conversation.

Was it a bad call, timing-wise? Yes. Did Ms. Ducros act unprofessionally, especially given her job description? Yes. Is Dubya a moron? Relatively speaking, yes. But that's not the real issue here. Ms. Ducros (and, by extension, Mr. Chretien) has undercut what could potentially be the greatest COMBINED force for freedom and democracy the world has ever known.

Look at it like a human body. Canada is the head, which contains the brain. Below us, the U.S. is the rest of the body, with its aggressive, often irrational physicality balancing out the mind's intellectual reason. You can't have one without the other--and it's good that Bush is an anti-intellectual "moron," because we need him that way.

As Canadians, we realize that U.S.-style capitalism is no more the solution to the world's problems than Soviet-style communism. But surely we also realize that it's clearly not psychotic Islamofascism, and that Mr. Bush's so-called "War on Terror" could have a definite upside. Calling him a moron proves nothing and solves less. If the Americans are ever to take us seriously, we have to use our collective head in dealing with them. Otherwise, how can we Canadians use them as mindless, gun-toting pawns in our master plan for world domin.... uh, freedom and democracy?