The hot topic of late in the halls of government has been the gay marriage issue. Politicians seem to be split fairly evenly, although so far the possibility that the legal definition of marriage will be edited to read "a union between two people" looks strong. The opponents fall back on the usual tired, moralistic knee-jerk objections--most of which do little to veil the irrational homophobia beneath. But if they would only stop and think, they'd soon realize that allowing gay marriage would be the best revenge. After all, it's obvious that under the status quo, homosexual couples are entirely too happy. Why shouldn't they be allowed to suffer the same desperately unhappy, uncommunicative life sentences that hetero couples do? In fact, those who are squeamish about the very idea of gay sex should be arguing loudest for gay marriage. Because we all know what happens to sex after marriage, don't we?