Here's something I want to do. Next time I come across someone on a cellphone in a public place, talking loudly enough that everyone in a twenty-yard vicinity can hear what he's saying, I want to listen for a while. Not too long, but long enough to get the gist of the conversation from the side I can hear. Then, while this person is still talking, I want to approach him and ask interested questions. "My God! Did she really say that?" Or better yet, I'll breathlessly ask stuff like "What did she say? What did she say?"

Now, you know what the person on the cell is inevitably going to say, don't you? He'll say something like, "Do you mind? This is a private conversation."

To which I'll cheerfully reply, "Actually, it isn't. But it should be, which is why you need to GET OFF THAT FUCKING PHONE."