Three baby toys every office needs

The more I watch babygirl shrieking for joy in one of the many contraptions we've bought for her entertainment and edification, the more I think our society has gone wrong somewhere. With all the blather we hear about "work-life balance," when did we decide that toys this fun should be only for babies? Imagine if you worked in a place where they had these three things...

The Executive ExerSaucer

Why suffer the ergonomic purgatory of sitting in a crappy office chair when you could be suspended on your tiptoes at the centre of 360 degrees of multi-tasking awesomeness? With room for a phone, a laptop and plenty of developmental activity stations, the ExerSaucer offers the perfect combination of fun and functionality. Having trouble getting that presentation together? Try twirling the little cylinder and listen to it rattle until inspiration strikes! Need to look busy? With so many levers to pull and colourful buttons to punch, you'll fool the boss every time!

The Jolly Job Jumper

You've probably heard of the "walking meeting," but what about a bouncing meeting? Bolt a few of these units to the roof of the boardroom, and prepare for high-octane productivity with no dozing off or doodling! And with the Jolly Job Jumper's unique design, both hands stay free for taking notes, emphasizing points of order or fending off co-workers who didn't see the part in the instructions about it not being a swing.

The Employee Einstein Play Mat

Make lying down on the job an essential part of every day! At lunch, on a coffee break or anytime you want to work on your cognitive development, just ease back on the padded mat and let the flashing lights and digital snippets of familiar classical music stimulate your brain to unlock the genius within. Knock around the baubles hanging overhead, or kick the foamy pillars to fast-forward to the next music snippet. It's like a whole universe of your own in here!

I don't know about you, but I'd take a pay cut to be somewhere that had these things.

Oh, wait... I did!