Panic-demic

Are you suffering from fool-like illness? Here are some symptoms:

• wearing a surgical mask anywhere outside a hospital


• cutting out your usual two-Baconator lunch "just to be on the safe side"


• dragging your snot-nosed little treasure to the emergency room at the first sign of a sniffle


• stocking up on Tamiflu because "you never know"


• taking old antibiotics you have left over in the medicine cabinet, because you not only fail to follow the instructions on prescriptions, but also don't know the difference between bacteria and viruses


• taking anything you read in a newspaper at face value

If you show two or more of these fool-like symptoms for more than a week, ask your doctor to put you out of your misery. Please.