Agony of de feet

Smashed my fucking toe yesterday. At a family picnic, no less. I managed to drop a picnic table that must have weighed 250 pounds right onto my right big toe. I didn't utter a peep, just looked down at my sandal-clad foot to see the blackness and blood already well underway. Peeled the skin right off the front of my toe, and left part of the nail embedded firmly in the flesh on the left side.

It's still oozing today. I keep running water over it and swabbing it with hydrogen peroxide. It responds to my tender ministrations by oozing some more.

Toe injuries are the shits, as my dad put it. The worst is that hideous pulling sensation you get when you put a little too much weight on it. It's like someone's stepping on your toe and slowly yanking out the toenail with a pair of pliers at the same time.

Think I'll go soak it in saltwater again.